My Second Choice
by deatheateryesplease
Summary: Hermione loses Ron in the war against Voldemort. Harry and Ginny marry but tragedy is just around the corner once more for The Boy Who Lived. Struggling to go on with life, what will Hermione and Harry do to continue on with theirs. Rated T for now, perhaps M in the future.
1. Chapter 1

Hermione sat on the very end of a row of chairs, the chair to her right was empty. The next seat however was taken by George Weasley. Sitting to his right was his twin brother Fred, and to his right were Bill, Charlie, Percy, and in the last two seats closest to the aisle were Arthur and Molly Weasley.

All the seats to their right were filled. All the seats behind them were filled. There was only one empty spot, saved for Ron next to Hermione.

Hermione stared blankly at Harry and Ginny who were standing under the magically lit alter, saying their vows to one another. She was lost somewhere on a cloud that looked like the Gryffindor common room, sitting next to Ron.

She was startled back to reality when a loud applause rang through the Burrow and Harry and Ginny walked down the aisle towards the reception area. Everyone was standing, clapping, whistling, and otherwise cheering.

Hermione was still sitting next to the empty white chair.

"Come on," Fred said, holding out his hand. "You look like you need some water."

Hermione scoffed a laugh and rubbed her left eye of an already dried tear.

"Honestly some fire whiskey sounds a lot better."

"I never come unprepared." George said, now standing next to his twin brother.

George pulled out an odd looking flask and shoved it at Hermione. Everyone else was walking to the tented area setup for the reception, leaving only the three of them where the ceremony had just taken place.

"I swear, it's fire whiskey." George reassured her.

"I wonder why she doesn't trust you." Fred said, trying to lighten her mood.

Hermione didn't hesitate a second longer. She grabbed the flask and drank a small sip. A second later she was taking a rather large second helping.

"That stuff isn't butterbeer you know." The twins said simultaneously.

"It's good." Hermione said, handing the flask back.

George shook it, it was completely empty.

"Well the only way you are getting anymore is if you bet up off your bum and come over to the reception. There's plenty more there." Fred explained.

"Yeah, we aren't going to wait on you hand and foot, bringing you drinks over here all night. Now, come on." George said.

Begrudgingly, Hermione stood up and followed them over to where everyone else had gathered and was dancing and making toasts. She walked the entire way, head held down, looking at her feet as she walked in the dark.

At first, no one attempted to talk to her. She helped herself to four more drinks of fire whisky before she finally started to feel the effects. She staggered over to the one empty table and plopped down in a chair.

"Hermione," a female voice startled her.

Hermione looked up and it was Molly. She was smiling but it might have been the most dreadful smile Hermione had ever seen anyone wear.

"Won't you come join us at the family table?" Molly asked.

Hermione simply shook her head and turned her attention back to the white table cloth.

"That's fine." Molly said, reassuringly.

Hermione's eyes closed when she felt Molly's hand grip her shoulder before leaving her be. A new song started playing; it was rather fast and fun sounding. Hermione dared a quick look up and saw Harry and Ginny dancing happily. Soon there were more and more people joining in, seemingly having the times of their lives.

"How could everyone be having so much fun?" Hermione asked herself. "How can they find it in themselves to even act happy?"

A few minutes passed. Then an hour, some people had started to leave the party as it was getting late into the evening. Song after song was played. Some were slow and romantic, others were fast paced. As one of the slow songs began to play, Hermione could feel the presence of another visitor.

"Dance with me?" Harry asked.

Hermione looked up at him, her eyes tired and full of misery. She glanced past Harry and saw Ginny in her white gown talking to extended relatives and laughing.

Harry held out his hand. Hermione couldn't say no.

"Easy," Harry remarked. "I figure that fire whiskey is still hitting you pretty hard."

Hermione didn't smile. She didn't even acknowledge the comment but she did give Harry her hand. He walked her to the dance floor and they stood close enough so that they could whisper to one another as they slowly swayed to the rhythm of the music.

"I miss him." Hermione whimpered.

"I do too, I'm so sorry."

"Stop." Hermione said. "I can't take another person saying they are sorry. I'm just as sorry as anyone could possibly be."

"I know."

"I know too… No one knows what to say. I know it's hard on everyone." Hermione admitted. "I had just thought about the future so many times and he was always a part of that."

Harry nodded and Hermione buried her crying eyes into his shoulder.

"Look at me, I'm a mess. I couldn't even be Ginny's bridesmaid after she asked me."

"Everyone understands. Ginny understands." Harry reassured her.

"I should still be there for the people I care about… I just don't have the motivation to do it, Harry. A large part of me just doesn't care."

There was nothing left to say. They finished their dance and Hermione excused herself and aparated from the Burrow a short time thereafter.

Hermione found herself in a small flat she had started renting in London, just a week prior. She wasn't totally alone, as Crookshanks purred at her reappearance.

"Not now Crookshanks." Hermione groaned.

She didn't want to show affection towards her cat but she did check her water and food before she turned on the tele. She didn't pay attention to what was on, she just needed background noise.

Hermione paced around the apartment, trying to figure out something, anything that might distract her for a split second. Perhaps she would read a book? No, that seemed like too much of a chore at the moment. Perhaps she could eat? No, that seemed nauseating.

Instead she walked over to the couch where there was a blanket and pillow and laid down on it, nearly in the fetal position and cried. Her sobs turned to screams of fear and grief. She didn't even bother using a silencing charm so that she wouldn't disturb the neighbors. She truly didn't care what they thought.

Early the next morning an owl was at Hermione's window, trying to peck its way inside. Hermione covered her head with the pillow, feeling the sting of the previous night's fire whiskey.

"SHUT IT!" Hermione growled as she stomped over to the window. She roughly separated the letter from the owls beak, who looked most affronted by this and flew away.

_Miss Granger, this is the third time we have attempted to contact you about interviewing with the Ministry of Magic. We currently have a position open that we think you would be perfectly qualified for. Please respond within the next three working days or we will have to look elsewhere._

_Sincerely,_

_Linda McClane_

Hermione threw the letter next to the other two on a small table and walked into the kitchen. She grabbed some ice and threw it in a glass before filling it up with water from the tap. She drank the entire thing in earnest and threw the glass in the sink next to a few other dishes.

Only then did Hermione notice that she was still wearing the dress she wore to the wedding. Not caring about making a mess, she slid the straps down her arms and let the dress fall to the floor and she kicked it over to the carpeted living area. She then tossed her undergarments on top of it and forced herself to shower.

As the shower began to run, Crookshanks stuck his head in and meowed.

"You have food, I just saw your bowl."

Crookshanks jolted, ran across the flat to safer grounds…


	2. Chapter 2

Harry and Ginny's honeymoon had ended weeks ago and they had taken up temporary residence at Number 13 Grimmauld Place.

"I didn't like staying here that one summer." Ginny griped in the kitchen and she and Kreacher prepared breakfast.

Harry was taking in the Daily Prophet, still waiting on notice of when he would go off for Auror training.

"I know, I don't fancy it here either to be honest." Harry admitted.

Ginny sighed, "I don't mean to be nosey but we are married. Don't you have a lot of gold in Gringotts? I don't see why we can't just buy one of the places we've already looked at."

"I do but I don't want to rush into anything, I want to find the perfect place." Harry reminded her once again.

"Kreacher will be allowed to accompany Master and his wife, yes?" Kreacher asked.

Harry nodded, "Of course Kreacher, and you can return here to visit anytime you like."

"Master is most gracious." Kreacher commented before returning his attention to Harry's eggs.

Soon breakfast was done and Kreacher was invited to join them at the table. After a lot of convincing he did join them and even ate a bite a two.

"Do you think we should go see Hermione?" Ginny asked. "We haven't seen her since we got back."

Harry didn't answer at first as he chewed on his bacon.

"Harry," Ginny nagged. "Answer me."

"Sorry," Harry said, putting down the strip. "I don't know. She keeps saying in her owls she wants to be left alone."

"That's all the owls say. We ask her loads of questions and all she says is 'leave me alone'."

Harry shrugged.

"She's your best friend." Ginny was growing angry for the first time in their marriage. "Why don't you want to see her?"

Harry slammed his orange juice on the table and Kreacher fell from his seat.

"What!" Ginny exclaimed.

"Ron is my best friend." Harry barked.

"And Ron is my brother. But Hermione is your best friend too and she was… is in love with him and he's gone now, Harry. She needs you."

Harry tried to smile at Ginny, "For all she knows, we are still on honeymoon."

"But we know better." Ginny corrected. "Look, I won't go. You two have a relationship that I can't understand. I will never understand it. The things you three went through. I don't have to tag along. When she's ready for a girl's night, I'll be there for her. But for now… She needs you."

Harry stood from the table, "I've lost my appetite."

"I'm sorry," Ginny said.

Harry was nearly out of the kitchen before he turned to face her.

"I could have been at Auror training a week ago but I turned down the job. I don't want to deal with it. I'm sorry if I'm tired of the responsibility but right now I'm just not ready for it." Harry admitted.

Ginny's expression was one of near shock.

"I thought you wanted to be an Auror."

Harry grimaced, "I do… I did. But right now I just want to try to actually enjoy life for once. If it wasn't being tormented by Voldemort the last seven years, it was being tormented by the Dursley's the eleven years before that. I'm burnt out, Ginny. Even the GREAT Harry Potter needs to relax."

With that Harry left the kitchen and Ginny could hear the familiar sound of someone aparating.

* * *

Hermione was in the process of feeding Crookshanks for the third time that day.

"I'm so sorry for not paying attention to you lately."

She managed to give the cat one stroke across the back but that was all she could muster before she walked to the couch and broke down. Just as the first tears started to flood her face, there was a knock at the door.

"Go away." Hermione yelled.

Again, they knocked.

"I'll give you your rent tomorrow." Hermione cried.

"It's me."

Hermione jumped to her feet, wishing she could take back her previous statement. She ran around the flat and began to pick up disregarded dirty clothes and throwing them in a hamper.

"One second!" Hermione exclaimed.

She threw the Chinese food that was barely touched from the night before in the trash and dashed to the door.

"Harry…" She said, smiling for the first time in days.

"Hermione…" Harry said her name, a little surprised by her appearance.

Hermione was wearing a small top with no undergarment, knickers, and even for her standards, her hair was in a right state.

"Oh my gosh," Hermione said, slamming the door in Harry's face.

A few seconds later she reopened the door and invited him in after she had put on pajama bottoms.

"Guess it's good you haven't taken to walking around completely naked." Harry joked as he moved aside a Daily Prophet to sit on the couch.

Hermione continued to try to straighten up the flat instead of joining Harry.

"So you're back from the honeymoon. Had a good time, then?"

"It was a honeymoon." Harry shrugged.

"I wouldn't know." Hermione commented back as remembered she could do magic and used it to her advantage to finish cleaning the place.

"I figured you could use someone to talk to." Harry stated.

Hermione put her hand on her forehead and paced in front of Harry. She hadn't bathed in two days and was a little afraid of getting too close to him.

"Talk to… be with… whatever."

Harry was visibly uncomfortable and readjusted himself on the couch.

"So you're not doing any better then?"

"I'm alive." Hermione retorted.

Harry shook his head. "That doesn't answer my question."

Hermione walked back into her small kitchen and picked up her wand. She waved it at the coffee maker and it began to brew.

"What do you want, Harry?"

"I'm here to check on my best friend." Harry answered.

"Don't worry about me."

"But I do."

"You do, or did Ginny make you come here? I know the difference between your handwriting and hers. She's been sending me the owls, not you." Hermione accused.

Harry stood up. "I knew this was a mistake. I knew you weren't ready to talk but Ginny made me come over here."

Hermione smiled but it was a vicious one. "Nice, Harry. Real nice. My best friend is forced to come and talk to me by his wife. The sentiment is appreciated but you can leave now."

"I lost him too." Harry barked, walking towards the door.

"And you have Ginny." Hermione snapped back. "Why don't you go cuddle her, or whatever else married couples do? Like I said, I wouldn't know."

"You are not yourself."

Hermoine shook her head and pointed towards the door.

"Get used to it, Harry. This is the new Hermione. If you don't like it, you don't have to come back. We did what we had to do together. We defeated Voldemort. His henchmen killed Ron in the process but I guess overall the mission was a big success."

Harry turned back from the door and faced her. She was a wreck and he could see that now. He had Ginny this whole time to deflect the pain and she had no one who could be there constantly for her.

"I'm sorry. What can I do?"

Hermione wanted to say something but couldn't seem to find the words.

"Just tell me." Harry said. "You're Hermione for Merlin sake. I'd do anything for you. Just let me know what I can do."

Hermione shook her head and buried her face in her hands. "You can save the world, Harry. You already proved that. But you can't save me."

Suddenly, Hermione felt Harry's arms around her, touching her mostly bare upper back. He hugged her ferociously.

"Anything, Hermione."

Hermione broke down into loud sobs and Harry had to hold her up from falling on the ground.

"Ca….Can…. Can… you just hold me for a few minutes?"

Harry walked her to the couch and sat her down. She didn't hesitate reengaging the hug as she started to ball even louder.

"I'm here, Hermione." Harry said, stroking her untamed hair. "I'm here."


	3. Chapter 3

**Note: This story is completely raw for me. Mostly because I just lost my wife a month ago (she was 25 years old). So some of these emotions might seem OOC but I think they are raw emotions a lot of people will have. I know I have and am having them, so that's why I'm writing them. Some chapters might be short, others might be quite a bit longer. It just depends on how I'm feeling. Hope people continue to enjoy.**

Ginny sat in Hermione's flat, sipping on a cup of tea as Hermione finally found the time to sit down with her at the small kitchen table. There was a moment of awkward silence as they both focused on their tea.

"So you sent Harry over here the other day?" Hermione piped up.

Ginny sat down her tea, "I did, wish he wouldn't have told you that I did though."

Hermione shrugged, "It's okay. I know he's hurting too. I'm sure he doesn't want to talk about it."

Ginny nodded with a knowing grimace.

"I mean to say, everyone is hurting." Hermione explained.

"Don't apologize, Hermione." Ginny begged. "I know what you meant."

Again awkward silence filled the room. Both young women finished their tea and looked at the empty cups for quite a while.

"I actually have to go to work." Hermione spoke up.

"Oh…" Ginny said, surprised. "I hadn't realized you had accepted that job with the Ministry."

Hermione didn't say anything but her head seemed to hang a bit low as Ginny mentioned that job. With that, Ginny excused herself to let Hermione get ready for work.

* * *

Hermione had recently gotten a muggle driver's license and a car. She thought it was best to show up at her non-magical job without the use of magic. She didn't want to seem suspicious. A few minutes into her drive to work, she realized it might have been best to call off today. But she had already called off once this week and this was only her second week on the job.

Her tears overcame her and she found it hard to concentrate on the road. She could however see that the light ahead was green and she continued Westbound on the road.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw none other than Harry Potter walking Eastbound on the sidewalk. He seemed confused but definitely recognized her and waved.

Hermione dared a smile and waved back to Harry. Suddenly out of her peripheral vision she saw a car barreling towards the driver's side of her car, heading Southbound. She had forgotten her wand. As the car inched ever closer, her life flashed before her eyes. She saw Ron… and Harry.

There was a backlash in the air and Hermione's car lifted off the ground to the South. Amazingly, Hermione could still see the car that was to take her life but it had been hurled backwards towards the North.

"Are you okay?" Harry asked.

Hermione couldn't believe it, she wasn't hurt. Her car was still in the same rusted condition she had bought it in.

"I'm…" Hermione hesitated. "How?"

"I didn't break any laws." Harry reassured her. "Snape's lesson finally paid off I suppose."

"A silent incantation!" Hermione gasped, covering her mouth so other people coming to check on her couldn't hear.

"Wandless too." Harry shrugged. "Dumbledore."

"I don't have my wand." Hermione admitted.

Harry shook his head, telling her he didn't have his either.

"Protego?" Hermione whispered, as the fire brigade and police officers began to crowd them.

Harry nodded and stepped back so that the paramedics could check on her.

* * *

When Hermione finally arrived at her job an hour late, her manager was none too pleased.

"I swear, I was in an accident." Hermione said, begging for her job.

The man leaned over her shoulder and looked out the window and spotted her car, "Looks the same to me."

"It won't happen again." Hermione swore.

"Make sure that it doesn't!" He barked. "Get to work… Table 12 is waiting."

Hermione walked over to table 12 and forced a smile. "What can I get you to drink today?"

here...


End file.
